What NOT TO DO when you train for a marathon

So maybe we are not meant to run 300km a month? 8 days to the LA marathon and my body is falling apart…

Dear runners,

The worst has happened. I am injured. I apologise in advance for this self-indulging post. Disclaimer: for the sake of being FUNNY and mitigate my PAIN, I will be overly dramatic. Please rest assured that I am fully aware that there are worst things in life than what is happening to me.

I am sure most of you runners out there know what it feels like to not be able to run when you have a race coming up. In fact, I am sure it has happened to most runners.

I will try to stay positive, and be thankful for my body that still allows me to walk everywhere and jump around at concerts. BUT I DON’T WANT TO. I want to complain. I want to describe to you WHAT NOT TO DO when you train for a marathon. I want you to learn from my mistakes, I want me to have it written in black and white so I remember too.

The Los Angeles Marathon is coming up in 8 days, and my body is slowly falling apart. Each day, I discover a new piece of my body that doesn’t fully function anymore. In fact, I have reached a state where I am actually less able and fit than when I started this training. WTF!

How this started

So basically, I trained for the NYC marathon in 38 days, 6 months ago. I did wonders. I achieved a miracle. I beat my PB by 18min just by training like a machine for 38 days. I loved that shortcut. It was a tough ‘shortcut’ — don’t get me wrong. I looked at my spreadsheet (yes because I noted down religiously all my runs) and I ran 297km in 36 days (i.e. excluding the race itself which is 42.2 km as we know) — but I massively slowed down the last 2 weeks, so really, I ran 235km (146 miles) in 24 days.

So it was a shortcut in a sense that I did not build a proper base for months, I did not do strength training or any of that. It was not a shortcut in the sense that I ran 5 days a week, missed a total of 2 runs out of 25, woke up anytime between 5 am and 6 am 3 days a week, systematically did ice baths, and tried my very best to be vegan. My goal was to run in sub 4h15min, and I beat the next threshold and ran in sub 4h10min, in 4h09min exactly.

Now being in the 4-hour + single digit minute zone, I felt I was too close to the sub 4-hour mark not to try.

So this time I decided to give myself 7+ weeks or 52 days, instead of just 38 days. I started training on the 31st of January. I had a similar training plan as I had for NYC: run 5 days a week in the following order: Long Run, Recovery run, Moderate run, Intervals, Tempo run, Rest, Rest. Repeat.

• On the second week of my training, for my 3rd long run of 30k, I have shin splints for the first full 9km — it’s damn long. It’s really not fun. I still finish the 30k. From there, it only goes downhill.
• The next day, I do a recovery run, my left glute starts to hurt. I have a deep tissue massage and I rest for 3 days. I still get shin splints on my next two runs: I run super slowly, the pain doesn’t go away, I do 5k max and go home.
• Now my training is seriously affected, I run 25k in week 3 (instead of 60), and 25k in week 4 (instead of an already reduced target of 51), and I can feel that my legs are heavy each time I run, I have either shin splints or I am out of breath because I lost all my cardio training. My spirits are crushed. I start each run fearing I will get shin splints.
• Week 5: I see this video on youtube on visualisation (I give you the link, it’s cringe yet convincing, I have warned you). So on top of visualising myself being a badass at work and living with my kids and husband and dog in a big house somewhere sunny and blue by a lake, I visualise myself running 30k the next day with no pain (talk about dreams and goals), I visualise myself crossing the finish line of the LA Marathon in sub 4 hours. IT WORKS. The next day I wake up at 5.30 am on my day off, before catching a flight to Budapest for a long weekend, I go and run my 30k at 5.48 pace. Target: 5.38.. but still, no pain — it’s a victory. Or only mild but definitely present.. on the left glute..
• IT DOESN’T WORK. I can feel my calves hurting when I walk around in Budapest. I have shin splints just being, not even running.
• Thursday week 6 (10 days to go): my butt hurts. Glute is a fancy word for butt. I make the tiniest off move and then I can’t even walk up stairs.. The pain is so bad sometimes I make those little pathetic screams out of the blue. Terrible.
• Today: 8 days to go. I try to run 12k at marathon pace (MP). I can’t do it. I do 10k at 6min pace ie 25 seconds km pace slower than MP. My calves are heavy, I am out of breath. Fuck fuck fuck!!

Where I messed up

Well clearly, you are not meant to train for a marathon in 1.5 months. And if you do, you have to hope you are lucky. So really I messed up from the very beginning.

When I trained for NYC in just about a month, I became vegan, and did ice baths and did burpees and all that. This time I did not. I took a few ice baths but some days I had to pass. And I definitely was not as vegan as one could be and much less so than last time (basically I can count on the fingers of one hand the days I had had not meat).

Also, when I had those damn shin splints I should have tried to fix it straight away. I did a lot of stretching but it was not enough. I should have done the strength exercises and clearly, I didn’t do enough.

Overall let’s face it, I messed up because my initial plan was bad to start with! It worked last time and it’s not working this time.

What’s next

I still want to believe that despite not being able to run a quarter of the distance today, I have a shot at running the whole thing at target pace in 8 days. I think it’s in the realm of possibilities.

The mind is crazy like that.

source: unsplash. aka me visualising myself as a fighter

So like last time, I am setting 3 goals:

• I’d be happy with: beating my PB of 4h09min
• I’d be a rock star: if I finally achieve my long term goal of running a marathon in sub 4-hour.

Ok, that’s 2. I am not gonna lie. If I do 4h08m or 4h04m or 4h01m it’s all the same to me anyway. I would have beat my previous self and given the injuries it would be really cool and I would have not achieved my mega goal.

If I do once again the unachievable and have anything that says 3h5x… then I’d be a rock star and will finally be able to retire from the marathon game in peace (unless I decide to do all 6 majors — because it’s cool).

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to retire if I don’t do sub 4-hour. I 'll keep chasing that dream. I can’t give up on that.

For the next 6 days I am planning:

• A recovery run on Sunday (1 week to go) of 5k, super slow (1min km pace slower than MP)
• Intervals on Monday — to boost that cardio a little bit
• A 5k jog on Friday — to shake them legs
• Stretch my calves like I never stretched my calves
• Foam roll my butt like a mothermother
• Wear compression socks whenever I can
• Be strictly vegan (starting now. FOR REAL)
• HOPE. HOPE. HOPE. And VISUALISE.

That’s it. Gotta believe. (AND VISUALISE).

Mandatory edit: I DID IT! 3h58m in the books. Read it all here: Why we race — a debrief on the LA marathon